A lot has happened in these last three days. I have gotten an e-mail saying that there will be a college fair, and I have been also getting ready for my community service activities, since we haven't been meeting for a long time.
I have been a little nervous because of the upcoming college fair that will take place this Thursday. College fair is really important for me because I'm a sophomore, and I will have to decide which colleges to go when I'm a junior, so that I can apply them right away when I'm a senior. I have taken a look at the college list before, but a couple of days ago, I have seen it again, and I've realized that one of my favorite colleges is coming to the fair, UCLA (University Of California Los Angeles). I have always wanted to visit that college for a couple of reasons including its location, and its programs.
Location is really important while choosing a college, so since it was in California, I made a little research about that state, and I have found some sad news about that place. I found a news that was saying that California Delta was missing water, so drought had become an important issue. I didn't realize that California was in danger even though I've been there before. When I decided to read the rest of the news, I saw that this issue wasn't because of the nature, but people. Unnecessary usage of water was the main reason for the drought. In the news I even read that The State of California can even limit the amount of water that a household can use per day. It was really sad to hear that. While I was reading this news I haven't realized that I had ended the third day of my 30 Day Challenge.
The next day I had already planned what kind of news to read—sports. I had been hearing people talking about the baseball season, so I had decided that I wanted to be informed about that, but the news I read ended up being a political news. That Monday, as the group of community service we went to Elim Park just like everyday. While I was visiting elderly people, I found myself in an old woman's room. She was very kind, and talkative. The first thing I noticed was her tv. She was watching this tv show about politics in America. I heard a couple of stories about Hillary Clinton. She talked to me about Hillary Clinton and the presidencies, but I couldn't respond her, since I didn't follow the news about politics. That day I decided that I would read a news about politics. I saw a news that a journalist had written by using her own opinions about Clinton. I didn't understand what was going on in the news, but I had gained some ideas about the presidency in the States. In the news the journalist gave her opinions, and for me it was kind of hard to decide a side to pick. However, the news was very informative.
It has been long three days. Last 25 days to go!
1. I turly like the news you read during the 30 day challenge, and the name of your blog.
ReplyDelete2.I would like to hear more about your own opinions.Like what do you think about this issue, what's your mood when you read these individual news,etc.Not just describe what happen in the news.
3. I wish you can change the hook. Make sure the first sentence are attractive and interest to readers.
4. You can add more details in the last paragraph. (Like: summary.. )I mean it's great right now, but is too short.
5. There are several "really"in your essay. Please choose other stonger verb or adjective.
You did a great job!😄😄
It's good to see your own experience and the reasons why you choose the news in the blog post first.
ReplyDeleteI want to hear more about the sports news.
I think the structure of the blog post should be changed.
I think the structure of the fourth paragraph is kin of strange that you quickly change the sports topic to Hillary Clinton.
"While I was reading this news I haven't realized that I had ended third day of my 30 Day Challenge"
In this sentence, it should be "the third day of my challenge
I like how you connected your life to the news you chose to read. That made the hook very interesting. You could work on a stronger ending. Also, I noticed in one section that you had a lot of sentences that start with "I" so that is something to pay attention to in your writing. Nice work.
ReplyDelete